


tell me all the ways to love you

by aquariusrose



Category: HIStory3: 那一天 | HIStory3: Make Our Days Count
Genre: Awkward First Times, Canon compliant with my own headcanon elements, Fluff and Smut, Light Angst, M/M, Yu Xi Gu is bad at feelings, like literally the lightest amount of angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:41:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22025746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aquariusrose/pseuds/aquariusrose
Summary: Ever since that time he'd gotten sick and, unbeknownst to himself, had got off with Shi Gu's hand pressing against his dick in all the right places, even just the thought of him makes Hao Ting incredibly horny. But you see, the funny thing about Xiang Hao Ting is that, by unfortunate design, he just so happens to be a self-deprecating masochist that willingly subjects himself to such debilitating conditions.Because, while he thinks about Yu Shi Gu more times in a day than he'd like to admit, he sees him almost just as much.Which, of course, makes him even hornier.
Relationships: Xiang Hao Ting/Yu Xi Gu
Comments: 13
Kudos: 220





	tell me all the ways to love you

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there. So this is my take on horny Hao Ting and his first times with Shi Gu because who doesn't love a horny Hao Ting? I know the novel elaborates on their first time, but this is my own headcanon about what I think happens. Because I feel like more happened between them than what is shown. Lots of fluff occurs, lots of self-deprecating (not really) behaviors occur, and oh yeah, lots of smut. Also, there are mentions of drinking and hangovers, so in case you didn't know, the legal drinking age in Taiwan is 18. 
> 
> Now that that’s settled, I’ll stop talking so you can get on with the good stuff. Enjoy!

The first weeks after graduation have been some of the most taxing weeks for Xiang Hao Ting. Between getting accepted into National Central University, dealing with the overbearing pressure to hurry up and decide which department he wants to study in, and actively avoiding his Dad for fear of triggering a volatile exchange just short of bloodshed, his mental fatigue has quadrupled in volume. He didn't think it was possible, but somehow, the household has been in even higher tensions than when he was caught half-undressed and painfully hard in Shi Gu's lap.

Civil interactions with his Dad have been far and few between, ever since the day he got his entrance exam results, which is partly his fault because he hadn't gone home that night.

He had spent the majority of the night celebrating the good news with Shi Gu, Sun Bo, and Zhi Gang, and the rest of it passed out on Shi Gu's bathroom floor. Way too drunk off his ass to remember to text his parents that he wouldn't make it home.

They had decided to celebrate at the bar where Shi Gu worked part-time, and somehow, after only twenty minutes of challenging Zhi Gang to a drinking contest, Hao Ting had found himself outside and bent over a puddle of his own vomit, cursing Zhi Gang and swearing to the universe that he'd never consume another 'alien nipple' again. Sun Bo and Zhi Gang had been kind enough to help drag him back to Shi Gu's place, where he'd then spent an unprecedented amount of time retching up enough butterscotch schnapps and melon liqueur to last a lifetime.

Shi Gu had stayed by his side the whole night though, practically pouring water down his throat and rubbing soothing circles into his stiff muscles. So naturally, Hao Ting wouldn't have changed a thing, despite having the worst headache imaginable and a dead arm the next morning. It had been the best morning he'd ever had. The weight of Shi Gu's head on his shoulder and the heat of his steady breaths fluttering against the cool skin of his neck made up for the less-than-ideal night on the hard tile.

It had taken him close to the entire day and a lot of empty threats from Shi Gu for him to finally go home, and when he did, his Dad had cursed him out for spending the night with 'that boy' the second he'd had the chance. 'Like a dog in heat', were the exact words used. Which, in hindsight, wasn't too far from the truth, but because Hao Ting has never really known when to back down and because he has too much pride for his own good, he'd found himself in the middle of a screaming match loud enough to send the neighbors dogs into a feat of inharmonious howls. It had taken both his Mom and Yong Ching convincing them both not to do anything they'd regret, and several more all-consuming brawls over the course of several days for them to learn to avoid each other for the greater good of the neighborhood.

And so, just like that, exactly three weeks have gone by since that day, and while the quarrels with his Dad and the conscious efforts to avoid him have been incredibly mentally jarring, nothing really compares to being around Yu Shi Gu and trying to keep his raging teenage hormones in check. It has been the most incapacitating thing he's ever had to do.

Ever since that time he'd gotten sick and, unbeknownst to himself, had got off with Shi Gu's hand pressing against his dick in all the right places, even just the thought of him makes Hao Ting incredibly horny. But you see, the funny thing about Xiang Hao Ting is that, by unfortunate design, he just so happens to be a self-deprecating masochist that willingly subjects himself to such debilitating conditions.

Because, while he thinks about Yu Shi Gu more times in a day than he'd like to admit, he sees him almost just as much.

Which, of course, makes him even hornier.

Especially when he has Shi Gu deliciously pressed up against him in his lap, much like he is right now, tapping away on his computer and blissfully unaware of the inner turmoil Hao Ting is going through. He hadn't considered the absurd amount of restraint he would need in order to keep his hands to himself. He really shouldn't have offered his lap in the first place. God-it would be the easiest thing in the world to just rut his hips up into the swell of Shi Gu's ass and let his hands wander where they want so badly to go.

No.

No. He can’t.

He knows Shi Gu isn't ready for that.

He needs to get himself together.

Right now.

"I need a break." He says with an exasperated sigh, pressing his forehead into Shi Gu's back.

"What do you mean? I haven't even shown you the list of programs available at NSU yet." Shi Gu retaliates, a small chuckle reverberating through his slender frame. Hao Ting groans beneath him and presses his head into the smaller boy’s back a little more. The subtle scent of detergent on his shirt floods Hao Ting's senses and he wraps his arms around his waist slowly, willing himself to simmer down. He is getting worked up over nothing.

"No, I mean I need a break from all of it."

Shi Gu doesn't respond right away. He just shifts his weight slightly to glance behind him, and in doing so, causes a surge of heat and pure arousal to shoot through Hao Ting's body. It sits in his gut painfully and-

God. He really, really needs to get himself together.

So, with what little self-restraint he has left, and for pure self-preservation, he gently nudges Shi Gu's hips forward and adjusts the other's posture so that he is no longer flush against his crotch. If Shi Gu notices the sigh of relief that slips past his lips, he doesn't mention it. He just grips onto Hao Ting's hands, where they still rest on his hips and trails his thumbs across his hot skin.

"Did you have another fight with your Dad?" Shi Gu finally asks, squeezing his hands reassuringly. Hao Ting considers it for a second, then shakes his head and properly interlocks their fingers together. He really hadn't had any run-ins with him in the last few days. Things had been relatively calm in the Xiang household lately.

"Not really," Hao Ting starts, then lets out a dejected breath before continuing, "it's just that everything seems to be piling up lately and there are so many decisions to be made, but all I want to do is be with you. You make me happy."

Shi Gu chuckles lightheartedly in response and brings Hao Ting's hands up to his lips to press an open-mouthed kiss to each of his knuckles. Hao Ting stiffens in surprise, only lifting his head from Shi Gu's back when he feels the press of soft lips leave his skin. It takes a few deep breaths and several seconds for Hao Ting to actually will himself to meet his lover's gaze, and when he finally does, the very little composure he'd managed to gain just moments ago falls instantly.

Because now, Shi Gu is looking at him as if he were a plate of freshly roasted, honey-glazed baby carrots, and-

Jesus fuck. That does so many things for his already giant ego.

"You make me happy too." Shi Gu smiles so fondly down at him and Hao Ting assumes that the spasms in his chest are his heart telling him; _This is it, buddy. This is as good as it gets. This is peak happiness._

But, of course, he'd also assumed the same thing when he'd finally made enough money for the Nintendo Switch he was pining for all those months ago. What a child he'd been back then, he thinks.

Nevertheless, Hao Ting realizes that a lot of things make him happy. He really is an easy-to-please kind of guy, but the fact of the matter is this; Yu Shi Gu had come into his life and promptly turned it upside down, then right side up again, and then all kinds of other heinous directions that were impossible to identify; And because of that, he'd learned very quickly that what made him happy before, could never compare to seeing this boy's absurdly angelic smile.

"Stop looking at me like that and be serious." Shi Gu's soft voice breaks him out of his trance-like state and it takes more than just a bit of effort to not pull the other back against his chest and kiss him senseless. What he really wants to do is throw himself against the floor and flail around like a fish out of water, but again, he has an excessive amount of pride.

“I’m just admiring how handsome you are.” Hao Ting muses happily. Shi Gu just rolls his eyes at him expertly then returns to his task of mindlessly scrolling through lengthy webpages and various forums for university students. Hao Ting knows he's lucky to have met someone like Shi Gu, but he wonders what kind of gracious things he'd had to do in his previous life to deserve a lover so dedicated to him and his future.

Feeling elated, Hao Ting starts humming some grossly romantic song he'd heard on the radio some months ago and boldly slides his hands across the boy's chest and then down his sides slowly, finally pressing his palms against the warmth of Shi Gu's hips again.

"Hey, be serious," Shi Gu's says with a scolding tone, “come decide what department you like better. Or what interests you."

Hao Ting contemplates it for a second, then pulls Shi Gu back against his chest and hugs him tightly, pressing his cheek flush against his shoulder blade.

"I'm only interested in you." Hao Ting beams up at his lover, however, said lover is currently shooting daggers through his eyes back at him. And so, instinctively, Hao Ting knaws on his shoulder like a teething puppy begging for attention and Shi Gu, as expected, pays him no mind.

"I'm serious. I'll study whatever. I don't want to think about it anymore." Hao Ting asserts. "I think the most important thing now is finding a place to live together."

At that, Shi Gu rises from his lap with all the fervor of a startled cat and looks at him completely bewildered and asks, "We need to find a place to live?"

Under normal circumstances, Hao Ting would've responded with an 'of course silly' and copious amounts of enthusiasm, maybe even a pinch to the other's cheeks, but these are not normal circumstances. He is serious about this. He needs this to happen. He needs Shi Gu to agree.

"That's right." He says matter-of-factly. "We're together now. And I would like to live together too.” 

Shi Gu's baffled expression melts into one of pure delight as he ponders the possibilities, and then almost immediately, turns into one of concern.

"But you're in Chungli," he starts, then deflates dolefully before continuing, "and I'm in Taipei." He's leaning against the desk now, looking too much like a kid just scolded for having his arms elbow-deep in the cookie jar and Hao Ting's heart does a little flip.

Of course, he had already given this fact much consideration. He'd figured out that, if they were to find a place within walking distance of Shi Gu's campus, it would take no less than forty minutes for him to drive to his school. And that would only be on good days with only the most ideal traffic conditions.

Which meant that he'd have to wake up much earlier than he was used to. But you see, that's Hao Ting's favorite part about the whole scenario. Because that would give him ample opportunity to prepare breakfast for Shi Gu, and then kiss his forehead while the other is still blissfully asleep, and that possibility alone makes the long commute worth it.

"That's not a problem." Hao Ting states, sending Shi Gu the most loving smile he can manage. "You're the priority!"

Shi Gu doesn't look as impressed as Hao Ting had hoped at that, but his expression brightens slightly.

"Then you'll have to commute every day." He argues, fiddling with the hem of his over-sized shirt. Hao Ting just nods and watches the other's face attentively. He holds his breath when Shi Gu's gaze falls to the floor, and while Hao Ting knows he can be a little opaque when it comes to reading people, he knows exactly what Shi Gu is thinking.

He can see it in the way Shi Gu worries his bottom lip between his teeth and darts his eyes around the room, the same way he does when he's working through a math problem. He's thinking about all the possible outcomes. He's rationalizing everything in his head and Hao Ting really can't blame him. After all, it is Shi Gu's practicality that has allowed him to successfully live on his own for so long.

"But..." He hesitates, and that's all it takes for Hao Ting to stand up and it immediately halts the other boy's train of thought.

"Why are there so many buts?" Hao Ting can feel a swell of irritation seep into his abdomen and it threatens to permeate to the rest of his body, so he quickly grabs both of his lover's hands and places them on his waist. "I've worked so long to finally achieve my goal of being with you." He persists, pinching the smaller boy's earlobes between his fingers and advancing closer to him with each word he speaks. "Of course, it's only natural to want to see you every day, right?"

He stops just mere inches away from Shi Gu's face and stares into his eyes deeply. Where the other had once held the incredible weight of uncertainty in his gaze, he now holds an all-encompassing confidence that Hao Ting has never seen before.

"Fine."

"Let's start looking for places to live then."

Shi Gu nods in affirmation and pulls him in closer, his slender hands pressing into Hao Ting's lower back assertively. His heart flips again, and all he can do to not melt into a gross puddle of pure ecstasy on the floor is press his forehead against the other's smaller one and smile feverishly. Shi Gu just returns his smile with one of equal measure, then glances down at his lips, which heedlessly stirs up a hot spell of arousal in Hao Ting's body.

So he selfishly leans forward and kisses Shi Gu softly, his fingers threading through the other's silky hair to draw him forward. Shi Gu's warm hands slide down from their spot on his lower back to rest coyly at his hips, and Hao Ting holds his breath.

He waits for Shi Gu to push back in response with all the determination he's used to, and when he finally does, Hao Ting can feel all of the blood in his body rush straight to his lower belly, where it sits there and aches. His rapidly increasing heartbeat pounds in his eardrum and the soft exhale of breath Shi Gu lets out when Hao Ting parts his lips in offering makes his knees wobble.

This, by far, isn't their first kiss, but it feels just as charged and thrilling as the first time had. Except, this time, all of Hao Ting's cells seem to be vibrating at a frequency high enough to shatter glass, and he can't brace himself fast enough for the tremor of pure want that floods through him.

Shi Gu is eagerly sucking his bottom lip into his mouth and nipping on it gently, so Hao Ting offers it up to him as much as he can, pushing back with just as much fervor. Their breathing begins to pick up, drawing out satisfied exhales and earnest gasps and Hao Ting wants so badly to just push Shi Gu into the desk. He wants to align his hips with the smaller boy's and grind down against him until they're both keening and breathless.

_Fuck-_

He wants him so badly.

He wants to make him feel good and he wants to feel good with him. He wants to see him get worked up and hear him beg to be touched. He wants to hear his voice get lewd and suggestive and he wants to watch his body move passionately with his.

Maybe it's because there’s a tremendous amount of adrenaline running through his veins, or maybe it's because of the insistent press of Shi Gu's hands on his hips, but Hao Ting decides to try something he’s never done before.

He pulls back from the soft lips tugging on his and kisses the other boy’s forehead instead, and _shit-_

Shi Gu lets out a shuddering breath that hits the hot skin of his chest through the thin fabric of his shirt, and then he is hugging him tight and Hao Ting can feel all the warmth radiating off of him in waves. So he keeps going.

He brings his lips to Shi Gu’s earlobe and sucks the soft skin into his mouth, and Shi Gu practically purrs at the sensation, hands gripping onto Hao Ting's shirt firmly.

The ache in Hao Ting's belly sinks lower, which makes his hips want to thrust up on their own accord and he feels his cock throb in his sweatpants with each shaky breath that leaves his lips. He lets his hands run down Shi Gu's slender frame until he's gripping onto the other's ass experimentally, and he watches the round flesh depress slightly from the firm hold of his fingers.

"I really want you." Hao Ting breathes into Shi Gu's ear and his cock gives another jump at Shi Gu's sharp inhale. "When will you give yourself to me?" He asks, slotting his thigh in between Shi Gu's, and oh _God-_

He is hard too.

And he's releasing little sighs into Hao Ting's chest and-

Jesus fuck, he's so hot.

Hao Ting lets out a quiet moan and slides his hand in between them to press his palm against Shi Gu's hardness and his heart hammers in his chest persistently. If Hao Ting hadn't known any better, he would've thought the dumb thing had a mind of its own. Like it was preparing to unzip his chest and devour Shi Gu whole, or something similar with equal amounts of terrifying premeditation, but he definitely knows better.

He's just in love and so, _so_ incredibly horny.

So he gives Shi Gu's dick an experimental squeeze, and while he had touched Shi Gu like this once before, he had been desperate and sick and everything was hazy and in bits and pieces and well-

This is the first time he can really take in the fact that he is actually touching Yu Shi Gu so intimately.

And Shi Gu is letting him.

But then, as if on cue, he is pushing on Hao Ting's chest gently and removing his hand from in between his legs. He feels the warm hands slip off his hips, and Shi Gu is smiling up at him pleasantly, but he's pulling away.

Hao Ting's heart does a thing, where it skips and then practically nosedives off his ribs and lands in his stomach as he watches Shi Gu walk across the room to sit atop an old suitcase pushed into the corner.

Shit.

He fucked up.

He had gotten too excited and had said all the wrong things and had taken things too far much too fast and now-

Now Shi Gu is looking at him from across the room with the sort of apprehension one never wants to see on their lover's face.

Hao Ting just wants to dig a hole and throw himself into it. But he can't. So he does the next best thing and releases a long and shaky breath he hadn't known he'd been holding, and braces himself against the wall. He lets out a few more heavy exhales, then turns to face Shi Gu to shoot him an apologetic smile. The boy grins back at him, and the sight alone bites at all the pent up frustration in Hao Ting's body and he can see the telltale signs of the same thing happening in Shi Gu.

So, with one final sigh, he sits back down in the chair and picks his phone up from its spot on his desk, then asks the only thing he can think of that has a chance of diffusing any remaining tension in the air.

"Do you think an apartment or condo will be better?"

* * *

After surviving a long night of handing out flyers to indifferent strangers on the street, and then spending another several hours at his desk scrolling through countless ads of shitty apartments for even shittier prices; Hao Ting decides he deserves to spend the rest of the night blissfully fused to his mattress.

It had been precisely thirty-two hours since Shi Gu had agreed to live with him, and in the duration of that time, he hadn't found a single place worth mentioning to the other boy. Everyone wants way too much money for places that look like they were purely used to keep stray dogs off the streets, and Hao Ting isn't about to make Shi Gu live in a place anything less than perfect.

So with a dramatic stretch and a theatrical yawn, he closes out all the open tabs in his browser, then promptly throws himself onto his bed face first. He lets out a groan that sounds too much like a feral animal and it causes a series of loud bangs to racket against the shared wall between his and Yong Ching's bedroom. He hears his sister's ill-tempered shouts to 'shut up before I make you', and so, like the good brother that he is, he lets out even more provoking grumbles that vibrate in the back of his throat until his voice cracks obnoxiously.

Only a few seconds go by before his door is flying open and he is being hit over the head with a pillow repeatedly.

"This is abuse!" Hao Ting shrieks, shielding his head with his arms and curling up into a pathetic ball of limbs. Yong Ching just continues to hit him anywhere and everywhere possible with as much force as she can manage.

"You were asking for it!" she yells back and deserts the pillow in favor of landing hard smacks to his back with her bare hands.

Hao Ting yelps out in pain and flinches with every smack delivered, but he's also laughing hysterically at the amount of hostility he'd managed to arise in his sister. Antagonizing his sibling has always been one of his favorite pass-times. It always gives him such a great sense of accomplishment, even when the exchanges end with him being brutally chastised. Which is how they usually end.

"Okay okay-you've made your point!" says Hao Ting, finally uncurling his body to turn around and grab onto her wrists. "You win." She has a terrifying smirk on her face and Hao Ting can't help but let out a fierce chuckle at the sight.

"I always win." She says while pulling her wrists from Hao Ting's grip.

"That's because you're a girl and I can't hit you." Hao Ting retorts. 

"Sounds like a _'you'_ problem." She delivers one last smack to his shoulder as if to prove her point and Hao Ting nearly chokes from pure amusement. "Don't bother me anymore." She warns, before continuing, "I'm trying to study."

"I will make no promises," He counters and sticks his tongue out, earning him a flick to the forehead. He lunges forward to try to retaliate, but then his phone dings in his pocket without warning, and he knows exactly who it is.

So with all the urgency of a balloon about to burst, he hastily picks Yong Ching up and hauls her out of his room. He sets her down just outside his door and presses a light kiss to the top of her head before conjuring up all the authenticity he can manage.

"I'm sorry. I promise I'll be quiet from now on." He beams down at the skeptical grimace plastered on her face, then with the flick of a wrist, pushes the door closed and pulls his phone from his pocket. He hears her mutter something under her breath, but he doesn't catch any of it because he's too preoccupied with opening up the message he'd received from Shi Gu.

**_'I made it home.'_ **

Hao Ting grins like an absolute idiot and practically sprints to his bed as he types out his response.

_'FINALLY! I thought I was going to implode with boredom. How was work?'_

_**'It was fine. The store stayed pretty busy, so the day went by fast.'** _

_'That's good!'_

Hao Ting smiles up at the ceiling as he waits for a response. He tries to get comfortable by laying down and propping up his head with his hands, but the position doesn't last long, because his phone is buzzing again within seconds. 

**'How was your day?'**

_'Good:) I went shopping with my Mom and Yong Ching, then handed out flyers with Sun Bo until 8ish._

_I've_ _just been looking for apartments ever since I got home.'_

_**'Did you find any places within our budget?'** _

He really wants to tell him that he had been stupidly close to smashing his keyboard into a pulp out of pure frustration several times in the last few hours, but he knows that would just make the other boy worry. So instead, he types out the most uneventful response he can think of.

_'Not yet.'_

_**'That's okay. We'll find somewhere perfect for us eventually:)'** _

_'You're so cute! I wanna give you a million kisses! <3' _

Hao Ting's large frame flutters and flails about in a dramatic thrash of limbs as he attempts to hit send. If he were to astral project right now and see himself, he thinks he would look like he was being possessed by the spirit of a young boy early Christmas morning that had just heard Santa come down the chimney. 

While he waits, he pulls up his favorite photo of Shi Gu, the one he had taken months ago of the other boy napping blissfully on his futon, and plants countless kisses to every inch of his face. In the midst of his pathetic bout of pure love drunkness, his phone buzzes again and it only takes him mere seconds to open the message. 

_**'Stop~'** _

Hao Ting's cheeks feel like they're going to fall off from smiling so much as he types.

_'Make me.'_

He drops his phone off to the side without much thought and waits for Shi Gu's quick reply, but when it never comes, he starts to worry that maybe he fucked up. 

Was that too weird?

Shit. Maybe it was because Shi Gu still hasn't responded and it's been-

Hao Ting opens up his phone and checks the time stamp of his last message.

_'23:16 read'_

It's now 23:24.

So it's been eight minutes. It's probably fine though. He probably just got distracted and is feeding Xiao Bai or something.

Hao Ting decides to lock his phone and he tries to be patient, he really tries, but he can't help the heavy sigh that leaves his lips almost every other second that passes by. 

Damnit-

He is too impulsive. What if Shi Gu took it the wrong way? Or-

Or what if he actually got weirded out by the suggestive undertone of that statement and decided to leave him on 'read' for the rest of the night?

He lays there in the dark and realizes that he's definitely starting to obsess, so he does the only thing that makes sense and quickly sends a line of emojis that suggest anything other than unwarranted homoerotic tension. It takes just a few seconds for Shi Gu to respond with his own line of equally ridiculous laughing faces and then there's another message that comes through.

**_'I have to go take a shower. I'll try to be quick.'_ **

Hao Ting feels embarrassment burn hot on his skin.

Good. 

Yeah. A shower would be good.

He should take one too. That should distract him from his rapidly increasing embarrassment. So he quickly tells Shi Gu that he will do the same and with all the energy he has left, he lifts himself from the mattress and it takes him only a few minutes to walk across the hallway to the bathroom, get undressed and finally step into the shower.

While under the warm water, Hao Ting really tries to keep his thoughts from wandering from the task at hand, but the water feels so nice and he can't help but close his eyes and wonder if Shi Gu is doing the same thing by now.

And then he's imagining his boyfriend's smaller frame, completely naked and wet in the shower next to him, and he tries to suppress the thought, but the images flow into his brain just as fast as the water from the showerhead hits his skin.

When a particularly well-imagined and provocative version of Shi Gu's face suddenly appears behind his eyelids, he shakes his head and turns the hot water up without looking. The intense spike in heat is more than enough to distract him from the racy images because his skin starts to feel numb and raw and the unpleasant prickling sensation is the only thing he can think about at the moment. 

The distraction works wonders for a while and he can continue with sudding up a bit of body wash between his hands, but then-

He's running his hands down his chest a little too slowly, and the hot water has made his skin overly sensitive and a bit reactive. And the thick layer of soap on his hands makes it easy for him to just close his eyes again and imagine that the hands sliding down his waist and over his hips are Shi Gu's hands. 

He really, really tries not to imagine the smaller boy pushing him up against the cold tiled wall to grab a hold of his hardening cock with all the confidence in the world, but the more he tries not to imagine it, the more detailed the images become and his thoughts start to spiral.

Would his touch be feather-light? Just barely ghosting along the velvet skin of his shaft?

Would he tease the tip with light strokes of his fingers with just enough pressure to keep him teetering on the edge until he's begging for more?

Or would he just go for it? 

Maybe he would get on his knees in front of him and pull his hips forward forcefully until the tip of his cock was just centimetres from his mouth.

Would he look up at him with those gorgeous, large brown eyes and smirk suggestively at him?

Or would he take Hao Ting's cock into his mouth, just like that? 

Would he tease him and tongue at his sensitive balls? Suck them into his mouth one by one until Hao Ting was absolutely wrecked and coming undone all over Shi Gu's perfect face?

Would he taste it?

Hao Ting's eyes pop open and he feels the coil of heat in his abdomen push lower and lower until his dick is twitching under the abuse of the hot water.

_Fuck._

What is he thinking? He shouldn't be thinking about this. How long has he been in the shower? Ten minutes maybe? Or maybe even an hour? Shit.

Shi Gu is probably already done and fast asleep by now. This always happens. 

Hao Ting has failed countless times to keep his thoughts pure while in the shower and has oftentimes returned to a good night message from the other boy.

He is his own worst enemy. He slips into impulsion and routine easily. After all, he is a simple guy. He isn't used to thinking about his actions and if they're justified. He just unapologetically does, and it has been his greatest downfall in the pursuit to make his boyfriend trust him. 

This really is the hardest thing he's ever had to do. 

It would be effortless to finish himself off right now. His brain has conjured up more than enough erotic fantasies to have him breathless and coming undone fairly quickly, but he doesn't want to have to apologize for leaving Shi Gu hanging once again. So, he turns the hot water all the way down and finishes his shower with all the speed and grace of a newborn giraffe.

By the time he's finally back in his room and pulling on a pair of sweatpants, he's still trying to shake his previous arousal. His body is still a little too hot, despite having finished his shower in water cold enough to hurt, so he skips pulling on a t-shirt in favor of turning on his fan. And because it isn't unusual for Shi Gu to accidentally fall asleep before wishing him a good night, Hao Ting checks his phone next and sees he has no new messages. So he plops down onto his bed belly first as he types out a quick, _'You still awake?'_

_**'Yeah. Just finished.'** _

_'How was your shower?'_

Hao Ting doesn't think much about hitting send, but as soon as he does, he regrets it immediately and face-palms himself a little too brutally. 

God. He is an actual idiot. 

Shi Gu is going to think he's an idiot. 

How was your shower? Really Xiang Hao Ting? 

He should probably just stop. He needs to just stop and go to bed because he keeps making things weird. He gets halfway through typing out 'how to unsend a text' into his internet browser when his phone _dings._

_**'um...wet?'** _

There's nearly a paragraph of laughing emojis that immediately follows and Hao Ting's relief hits him like a ton of bricks. 

_'hahaha me too.'_

**_'Oh?_ **

**_You're wet?'_ **

Hao Ting reads the message a few times over, a little confused, and then the realization hits him along with all the flashbacks of the racy images that had flooded his mind in the shower and he panics. 

_'No! I mean like so was mine._

_My shower was wet. I'm not wet.'_

_**'???** _

_**If you never got wet, then how did you get clean?'** _

_'I was wet._

_I_ _got wet in the shower._

_But then I dried off so I'm not wet anymore.'_

If the task were at all possible, Hao Ting would've promptly thrown himself into a pit of unforgiving hellfire right then and there. But he lives in Taipei, and the closest volcano is in the middle of the ocean and he doesn't have a boat. Or the necessary energy to pull any of that off, so he just cringes and holds his breath while he waits for Shi Gu to reply. 

Which takes much longer than he thought it would, because by the time his phone finally sounds again, his eyes feel like they're going to pop out of his head. He opens the message with a violent exhale. 

**_'hahaha you're an idiot. You're lucky you're handsome;)'_ **

Hao Ting isn't even thrown off by the insult. Instead, he just stares at the last words for what feels like an eternity. He even pinches at his screen to zoom in on each letter until his eyes go out of focus and his cheeks feel like they're going to fall off from smiling so much. He knows it's stupid and a bit weird to be so thrilled by his boyfriend calling him handsome, but this is the first time Shi Gu has said it without Hao Ting trying to pry it out of him. He just said it. No reservation at all. And he even _winked._

Hao Ting realizes it's redundant and a little unnecessary when he types out _'You think I'm handsome?'_ and hits send, but he can't help it. He tells himself that it's just because his hands have a mind of their own, but he knows deep down that there's no validity in that. 

He wonders if Shi Gu realizes what he's really asking for. If he can tell just how desperate he is for some elaboration.

When a response comes, Hao Ting suspects that maybe the other boy had caught on, because- _God_ -

Hao Ting doesn't really know what he was expecting, but it definitely wasn't _this._

**_'Yes. You're very pleasing to the eye. I like to look at you.'_ **

He reads it once in his head, and then another few times out loud as he flips onto his back with a dramatic _thud._

And now he's reading it in his head again, but this time, he's imagining Shi Gu's gentle and sultry voice whispering the words in his ear and it makes his blood swelter. Which makes him sweat and-

_Shit-_

He definitely shouldn't pry. He absolutely should not urge the other boy to _'Go on.'_ But he does anyway and his heart bangs something fierce in his chest and all of his veins feel like they're about to burst any second as he waits. 

He's feeling weird and nervous now as he stares up at the ceiling, fingers fidgeting with a loose thread on the waistband of his sweatpants. He is just about to pull on the taught elastic and snap it against his bare skin out of impatience, but then his phone sounds again and he practically dives for it. 

**_'I'm not gonna say anything else. I believe you already know.'_ **

He doesn't want to move. He doesn't want to think. He doesn't even want to lay here and stare at his phone, completely dumbfounded like he's currently doing. He just wants to dissolve into a puddle of self-pity. Then maybe the annoying presence of the incredibly potent disappointment that sits in all of his cells will evaporate into nothing along with him. But he decides that that would be useless, and also quite rude, so he just plays it cool. 

_'I don't know.'_

_**'Yes you do.'** _

_'I really don't'_

_**'You know.'** _

Hao Ting lets out an exasperated sigh and runs his hands through his hair. There is a ball of frustration that coils up in his stomach and then rises up his esophagus in the form of a growl, and he hates it. He really shouldn't be getting irritated. He is the one prying for purely selfish reasons. Shi Gu doesn't owe him anything. He is more frustrated with himself for getting-

Well-

For getting too excited and insanely turned on at the thought of Shi Gu telling him exactly why he likes to look at him, or _where_ he likes to look. 

Or that he also gets uncontrollable urges to kiss him whenever they're less than three feet apart. The same way he does.

Or if he ever looks at certain parts of his body and ever wonders what they look like without certain articles of clothing covering them. He just wants to know that he isn't the only one feeling these types of things.

Hao Ting is just about to let out a defeated growl and give up when Shi Gu's next messages come through. 

_**'Okay. Fine.** _

_**How about you tell me what you think I was going to say, and then I'll tell you if you get it right.'** _

He knows what he wants to say, but he also knows it's much too inappropriate and probably not at all what Shi Gu was going to say, so he just lays there for a few minutes while he thinks.

_'Were you going to say that I'm the most handsome guy you've ever met and you like me more than anyone else in the whole world?'_

_**'hahaha no!**_

_**Not that.'** _

_'hmmm_

_I don't know then~ This is too hard. Just tell me:('_

_**'I'll give you a hint.'**_

Hao Ting watches the three dots pop up that indicate Shi Gu is typing and then they disappear for about twenty seconds, just to reappear and disappear again when the text sends. 

_**'I think you're more than just handsome.'** _

Shi Gu sends a significant amount of blushing emojis next and-

Wait, what? 

_More than just handsome._

The words repeat through his head like a mantra and he's been staring at his phone for so long that his palms begin to sweat and he has to keep wiping them off on his pants so he can grip his phone properly.

What's more than handsome?

Beautiful? Striking? No...

What if he meant hot? Does Shi Gu think he's hot? Or...maybe...

Sexy?

_Woah._

Hao Ting lays there and just thinks for a bit, completely still for much too long, but also not long enough because when he finally moves to sit upright, he thinks he might be dying when his vision goes all blurry from the instant adrenaline rush that kicks his hormones into overdrive.

Is Yu Shi Gu actually wanting to say what Hao Ting wants him so badly to say?

That he thinks he's _sexy?_

No. 

_No._

He's probably just reading too much into it. His brain is definitely just twisting this and making it seem like something it's not.

Shi Gu probably just meant that he thinks he's cute too, right? Or funny?

Hao Ting ponders this for a bit then shakes his head when he takes another look at all of the blushing faces that Shi Gu had gone out of his way to send. There were a lot of them, probably more than thirty, all staring back at him with the same red-face and wide-eyed expression. Shi Gu wouldn't get shy from just calling him cute or funny, right?

Hao Ting wonders if he's being too blunt when he types out his response, but he can't help it. He has to know. He has to see if he'll get the same reaction. 

_'You think I'm sexy.'_

It isn't a question. It's so matter-of-fact that even Hao Ting stops wondering if that's really what Shi Gu meant, and he starts believing it.

He starts knowing it. Especially when the response he gets back is an even more outstanding cluster of the same shy face from before, along with a single word. 

_' **Bingo.'**_

If someone would've told Xiang Hao Ting that one day, the word 'bingo' would send a surge of arousal through his body so strong that his brain felt like it was going to melt, he would've promptly told them to fuck off. He also would've, at least, been prepared.

But no one ever told him and so he definitely isn't prepared for _this._

He looks down and watches a tent of fabric form in his sweatpants around his ever-growing erection, and he presses his thighs together tightly. If the intense buzzing in his nerves isn't going to be the death of him, he's almost positive that the heat between his legs will be.

He has never been this _hot_ before. He doesn't think he can suppress, or rather-

He doesn't want to suppress the way his hips thrust up into nothing on their own accord as he begins typing out his careful response. 

_'Do you ever think about me?'_

**_'What?_ **

**_Of course. I think about you all the time.'_ **

_'No._

_I mean like..._

_Do you ever think about me in THAT way?'_

**_'What way?'_ **

Damnit.

Is he being too vague? He thought maybe Shi Gu would've caught on by now.

Does he really need to shamelessly ask Shi Gu if he ever thinks about Hao Ting _doing things_ to him when he gets off?

Does he even do _that?_

Does he even get horny or get the urge to jerk off?

Maybe if he tries a different approach, he won't have to ask so directly.

He gets halfway through typing out _'What're you wearing?'_ before he mentally slaps himself and erases everything. Shi Gu won't get what he's asking for, right? He's never had a phone before, so Hao Ting's fairly certain that he's never done whatever _this_ is before. 

He sighs and locks his phone, then unlocks it again and opens his messaging app, ponders for a bit, then swiftly locks it again. He staring up at his ceiling aimlessly, trying to come up with something to say that doesn't sound creepy but also hints at everything he wants to do when his phone vibrates.

_**'Can I tell you something?'  
** _

Hao Ting feels panic bubble in his chest, but he does his best to curb it as he types. 

_'Of course. You can tell me anything.'_

**_'I think you're really sexy._ **

**_I think about that..._ **

**_that time we...'_ **

Hao Ting gulps and he thinks he can tell where this is probably going, and he prays to God that he's right. 

_'That time we touched?'_

_' **Y** **eah.'**_

Jesus fucking Christ.

It's so hot.

Hao Ting feels another bout of heat flash through him and he feels his skin get sticky with sweat and _fucking hell-_

_'I'm so turned on right now.'_

His hips are rolling up again with his thighs still pressed so tightly together and the combination of heat and pressure makes his breath hitch. He feels so wet and sticky below the waistband of his pants that he begins to think that maybe it's not all sweat. He doesn't know anymore. All he knows is that his pants are way too tight and he's so hard that it hurts.

His phone buzzes again and he has to suppress a groan from falling from his lips when he reads the next line. 

_**'Me too.** _

_**I think about that time so much that it makes me crazy.'**  
_

_Fuck._

Where is all of this coming from? Why is Shi Gu telling him this all of a sudden? Whatever the reason, he definitely doesn't want it to stop. Hao Ting doesn't get a chance to respond before he's getting another message.

_**'Can I tell you something else?'** _

_'Fuck yes_

_please tell me'_

**_'I'm really nervous. I've never done anything like this before.'_**

The whiplash from being brought back to reality so fast makes Hao Ting a little lightheaded and he has to lay back down again to catch his breath. 

Of course, he'd already realized that this is Shi Gu's first time talking about his sexual desires, but the other boy had been the one to deliberately bring it up first, so it seemed harmless enough to go along with it.

Hao Ting feels like an asshole. 

_'I'm sorry. We can stop.'_

**_'No!_ **

**_No, I don't want to stop..._ **

**_It's just that I've never done anything like this before, so I don't know what I'm doing..._ **

To be fair, Hao Ting isn't really the most experienced when it comes to sexting either, and God knows he's never done it with a guy before, but he thinks he knows what direction to take in order to make this good for Shi Gu. So he keeps going.

_'Are you laying down?'_

**_'Yeah.'_ **

_'And are you still thinking about how it felt to touch me?_

_How it felt to make me come in my pants so easily?'_

Shi Gu doesn't respond right away and Hao Ting is really starting to doubt himself now.

What is he saying? Is this too much? Did he scare him away already?

Maybe Hao Ting is way too sexually charged right now that he's willing to do or say just about anything to get what he wants. Maybe he hasn't thought this through properly. Maybe he's just completely clueless about what it takes to turn on another guy and he's doing everything wrong.

He doesn't know, so he quickly begins typing out something else, but he gets distracted when a photo pops up and-

Oh?

_Oh._

Oh holy motherfucking Jesus fuck-

God-is that?

Yes it is. 

Hao Ting taps on the photo and zooms in, and even though the shitty and grainy quality of his phone's screen makes it difficult to see, there is absolutely no mistaking what he is looking at. 

That's totally the tip of Yu Shi Gu's dick poking out of the waistband of his boxers and it's flushed with color. Bright red and so, so _pretty_ and-

It might just be a trick of the camera angle, or maybe even the low lighting, but it looks really fucking wet.

Hao Ting's cock pulses and throbs and everything feels so spacey as he struggles to push his pants and underwear down to his knees with one hand. He can't help the relieved sigh that leaves his lips as he watches his dick twitch in the cool open air. 

Okay. _O_ _kay._ Calm down Xiang Hao Ting. 

He should send a picture too, right? Or...

_Fuck-_

What is he supposed to do? What is he supposed to do with _that?_

He knows what he wants to do, and he's so, so close to doing it. Just grabbing a hold of his dick and jerking himself off so hard and fast that he finishes within seconds, but he doesn't want this to end. He never wants it to end. _Shit-_

He's so keyed out and his mouth is watering from just the tiniest glimpse of Shi Gu's cock. And the more he focuses on that _one spot_ , where the bead of pre-cum flows deliciously out of his slit, the harder it becomes for Hao Ting to center himself. 

_'Oh my fucking God!_

_I thought you didn't know what you were doing???'_

_**'I didn't know what to say. So I decided to show you.** _

_**Was that okay?'** _

_'Are you kidding me?_

_Of course it's okay.'_

If he hadn't known any better, Hao Ting would've thought that he was sexting with an expert because _fuck-_

_Was that okay?_

Is he trying to kill him? Hao Ting lets out a groan and makes a mental note to remember to imagine Shi Gu saying that the next time he fantasizes about him being on his knees, lips completely swollen and fucked out. He will come like a freight train every time. 

Hao Ting looks down at how flushed his skin has become and sees how wet the tip of his cock is too, so he quickly snaps a picture. He doesn't send it right away, though. Instead, he decides to try something.

_'Do you want me to show you too?'_

It's a question he's never asked before with previous partners, and he feels so, so stupid for never asking in the past because the response he gets nearly sends him over the edge. 

**_'I want to see.'_ **

Hao Ting sends the photo instantly as he finally wraps his hand around his length, pre-cum slipping out and landing on his thumb in a messy dribble. He thrusts up into his hand as he starts typing again, and the friction is almost too much.

_'What're you thinking about?'_

**_'wow..._ **

**_it's big.'_ **

There's a pause in the typing and the thought crosses Hao Ting's mind, that maybe, just maybe Shi Gu has started to feel self-conscious about himself now, but then he sends another message and Hao Ting moans out loud and thrusts up into his hand hard. 

**_'it felt big when I touched it but...wow_ **

**_it looks really good'_**

_'mmmm fuck_

_yours looks really good too._

_I want to suck you off'_

Shi Gu doesn't respond, so Hao Ting keeps typing. 

_'Are you touching yourself now?'_

Shi Gu sends him another photo, but this time, it's of his face, and the quality is still terribly dark and blurry, but he's biting his lips so seductively and his eyes look so fucking sensual and blissed out that Hao Ting fails to suppress the animalistic growl that sits at the back of his throat as he pumps his hand around his length faster.

_Fuck-_ he's so close. 

He doesn't even think about what he does next, but maybe he really should have, because now he has his phone pressed up against his ear while he waits for Shi Gu to answer his call and all he can hear is the insistent and annoying ringing and he's way too close for this. He wants to come to the sound of Shi Gu breathing heavily into his ear. Not _this._

He's just about to hang up when Shi Gu finally answers, and his relief almost feels better than the heat rapidly coiling in his abdomen.

"Hello?" Shi Gu clears his throat and his voice sounds shaky and much deeper than normal.

"Fucking hell. You trying to kill me or what?"

"Huh?"

"You're so fucking hot. God-your face makes me wanna..." Hao Ting cuts himself off with a particularly loud moan as he rubs the palm of his hand against the tip of his cock and it's so _wet._ It feels _amazing._

He hears Shi Gu gasp into the receiver, "a-are you..." and he trails off when Hao Ting just answers him with another moan. Shi Gu lets out a long and shaky exhale. And then his voice is fluttering into Hao Ting's ear again. "You sound so sexy." he practically moans, voice so breathy and barely audible and it's the hottest sound Hao Ting has ever heard. 

_Oh shit._

This is actually happening. Shi Gu is actually moaning and panting into his ear like he's so fucked out and desperate and the proximity of his voice makes Hao Ting a little nervous, but it's so, so _good._ And it doesn't just stop there. No.

Shi Gu keeps whispering dirty things into his ear and Hao Ting can only make out about half of what he's saying, but he catches the most important parts. Especially the part where he says "Fuck I want you to come for me" and holy shit-Hao Ting never thought those words would ever come out of the other boy's mouth but they just did and Hao Ting doesn't have the time or strength to be shocked because then-

_God-_

Shi Gu is telling him that he's going to come and it only takes Hao Ting a few more irregular strokes and frantic thrusts until he's coming all over his stomach and chest so hard that he blacks out a bit. He barely registers the sounds of Shi Gu groaning out his own release and the heavy pants that follow on the other line because he has to focus on getting his body to stop convulsing.

"You still there?"

Hao Ting is just about to respond when he hears a loud _thud_ on the wall again and he immediately drops his phone and freezes.

_Shit!_

How is Yong Ching still awake? Did she hear all of that?

He's holding his breath now, his hand still wrapped tightly around himself as he listens for any sign of movement on the other side of the wall. 

Wait...

Did he lock the door? 

Hao Ting panics and practically falls out of his bed and trips almost the whole way to his door from the sweatpants still hooked around his ankles. When he finally manages to get to the door, he hastily flips the lock and presses his ear against the wood so hard that he can feel indentations being left on his cheek. His pulse bangs so loud in his ear that he can't hear anything else and he curses under his breath.

He waits there for what feels like a millennium until he's certain that nobody is coming and he lets out a relieved sigh.

Shit, that could've been bad. 

He quickly kicks his pants off into a corner and cleans himself off with a dirty towel before he quietly tip-toes back to his bed and picks up his phone again.

"I'm here. Sorry. I thought someone was coming so I panicked." Hao Ting releases a shaky breath as he speaks. 

"What?" Shi Gu practically yells and Hao Ting has to pull his phone away from his ear. "Why didn't you tell me your family was still up?" 

"I didn't know!" He exclaims as loudly as he can without disturbing anyone as he pulls on a fresh pair of underwear. "I thought Yong Ching would've been asleep by now."

"Your sister heard?" Shi Gu honestly sounds close to tears at this point, and if it wasn't for the guilt that tortures his gut, he would've found it cute.

"Don't worry. She didn't hear. She probably just kicked the wall in her sleep." Hao Ting doesn't know if that's true or not, but he definitely doesn't have the heart to tell him that, so he just says "Everything is fine."

He hears some rustling on the other end, possibly from the other boy re-adjusting his position to get comfortable, so Hao Ting decides to do the same. 

"Are you okay?" He asks while slipping under his covers and he pulls the comforter up to his chest. 

"Yeah, I'm good." 

"Are you embarrassed?" He hears Shi Gu let out a small sigh before he answers.

"A little." His voice is raspy and he sounds so tired, but he sounds like he's smiling and Hao Ting can't help but smile as well. 

"Don't be embarrassed. Because I..." Hao Ting pauses and he feels his ears turn red before he continues, "I really liked it."

Shi Gu audibly gulps in response and Hao Ting can't hold in the chuckle that comes from the back of his throat. It takes the other boy a few minutes to respond for real, and when he finally does, the butterflies in his stomach almost make him nauseous. 

"Me too." 

"Where did you learn how to talk like that?" Hao Ting teases.

He hears Shi Gu groan and his voice is muffled when he says, "Shut up."

"What? It's an honest question."

"I've watched... _you know..."_ His voice falters and Hao Ting swears he can hear the steam leaving Shi Gu's ears.

"Oh god! Don't tell me you learned how to dirty talk from watching terrible internet porn on the phone I bought you?" 

"Shut up! It worked, didn't it?" 

Hao Ting shoves his face into his pillow and tries his hardest to muffle the hysterical fit of laughter he can't hold in anymore. It takes him several minutes and so many threats from Shi Gu for him to finally sober up enough to speak. 

"Yeah. It worked." 

He hears Shi Gu hum and then hears the unmistakable sound of a yawn filter into his ear and Hao Ting allows his eyes to flutter shut. He still feels a little sweaty and kinda gross, but he just can’t bring himself to move right now to turn his fan onto a higher setting, so he allows himself to slowly drift to sleep as he listens to Shi Gu's breathing draw out into slow, even puffs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you made it this far, thank you for reading. This definitely isn't where I want to end this fic, but this started to get a little longer than I anticipated, so I decided to split it into two chapters. There is so much more I want to elaborate on, including their misunderstanding starting on episode 18 and, of course, I want to write my own version of their first time.
> 
> So, I guess, look forward to the next part, if you're interested. Also, please feel free to give me feedback! I would love to hear what you think!


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